Only vegetables are happy...

“People need trouble -- a little frustration to sharpen the spirit on, toughen it. Artists do; I don't mean you need to live in a rat hole or gutter, but you have to learn fortitude, endurance. Only vegetables are happy.”
-William Faulkner

What I thought at the time was a revelation became apparent to me one day, in the most likely of locations: philosophy class. It was my junior year of college and I was taking a Philosophy of Law course that was being offered by the small college I was attending in England. Brendan, the professor of this class, a pretty well-to-do Doctor of philosophy, known more for some of the students he once taught at one of the neighboring colleges (think Prime Ministers) was a very fun, engaging and hilarious guy- and that isn’t just because he rode a bicycle around town while wearing a kilt and waving at all recognizable students he passed by (though that added to his appeal).

Our discussion one day went the route of trying to define what the purpose of law is. Why are laws established? Attempting to get to the root of why laws even exist in the first place. Go ahead and try it out- it actually is a very difficult exercise. One in fact that we couldn’t even begin to grasp. So Brendan moved us along to something that should have been much easier.

Happiness: what is it?

While this is most definitely an easier thing to try to figure out, it really isn’t very easy. Many started describing situations, places, scenarios that brought about happiness- all the while without figuring out what it actually is. Happiness cannot truly be manifested, we figured. Happiness is not tangible. And so the class went, trying to place a brief description to prove to ourselves once and for all just what happiness is.

My simple minded deduction capabilities had me eventually look at things from a different angle. I figured if it was hard to state what happiness is, then I can try to state what happiness is NOT. Then it hit me…

Happiness is too difficult to define and comprehend unless it can be compared to its contrast. Happiness can only be quantified, and therefore, felt and eventually defined through analyzing how it goes against unhappiness.

I proclaimed to the class that happiness was therefore the absence of pain, anguish or stress. Complicating things- Brendan stated, “So if I were to some how drug you beyond the point of consciousness, and hang you up on the wall like that TV up there,” pointing to a television that was on one of those hotel-style platforms that are attached to ceilings, “would you be happy? You wouldn’t feel pain… No suffering… No stress, but is that happiness? Is living life as a vegetable the ultimate form of happiness?”

I replied yes, and as it turns out at that time shared an opinion held by Mr. Faulkner: “Only vegetables are happy.” Much to the horror of a few in the class who I am sure were picturing some medieval display of my freshly pitched up body being nailed to a plank while being hung from the ceiling- all the while with a stupid grin on my face due to the copious amounts of morphine being pumped through my body right after getting a serious lobotomy.

I was wrong of course. What I was describing was something beyond happiness. Some sort of nirvana, or oblivion- nothingness. Happiness cannot come without suffering. It just can’t occur without being able to compare happiness to its nemesis- pain. It is just one example of duality that keeps the world moving. I realize bringing up the notion of “duality” then opens things towards the religious realm. While I am not a practicing member of any set belief system, this sense of not having one (joy) without the other (pain) is something that I believe in whole-heartedly.

The thing about trouble, or frustration, or as so many people refer to it nowadays: drama- is that it needs to be a part of an ongoing process; a fluid system- a cycle that entitles the frustrated and troubled to some peace and security; some happiness. It is only fair.

Yeah, I know- our parents always had that golden phrase easily accessed from their pocket any time we as children had some sort of gripe about life.

“Suzy got to sit next to Bobby last night. It is not fair!!!”

“Well little Billy,” says Mom or Dad, “sometimes, life just isn’t fair…”

With fairness comes unfairness- more duality.

I often am jealous of those that live what I consider to be very difficult lives, and yet, can find wondrous amounts of joy in just about everything they come across. Their duality is living through the hard times, and practically creating the joy with their strong sense of will and peacefulness. A truly beautiful thing! I also get frustrated by the times when I judge someone else’s life as easy and therefore don’t afford them the chance to go through bad times and be able to suffer. “Why is he complaining? He just got back from vacation…” “What’s up with her shitty attitude? She’s rich!” “Why are they down? They have ME in their lives!”

I realize that judgmental behavior, as well as living life constantly jealous is no way to live, but of course this idiot just can’t help it. I want to be happy. I want to see the good in my life. I want to be happy even for others. I don’t want to be bitter or nasty.

Maybe it is because only through acknowledging my pain and frustrations, and making efforts to see the world in that different light can I be sure to have myself open to the joy when it does come along.

Life is beautiful. It really is. Life is also terribly ugly. It really is.